11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
