You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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