anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
