You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
