I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
