your thong is hanging out like whoa
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
