We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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