Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
