Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
