can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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