Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
