so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
