Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
This can only be settled by a dance off.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He did a backflip because drugs
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