You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
