Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
