I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
