i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
