I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
FUCK WHALES
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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