you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Randomize
