I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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