Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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