There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Actions speak louder than pants.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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