I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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