nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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