youre lurking in front of me
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize