When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
