so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
