when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
