1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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