can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Randomize
