Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
