You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
