My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
