i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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