I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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