Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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