a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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