....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize