She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
