I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
