he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
