You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
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