If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just want nice things and good sex
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
