sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
