when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
