xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
