just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
sarcasm needs its own font
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
