We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
