Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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