please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize