We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
