I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
