there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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