porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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