..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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