Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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