You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
