Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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