Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
