So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
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